Why is it so hard to hear feedback? It isn't just negative feedback that leaves one's heart racing. Walking into a performance meeting or opening an essay containing feedback response without knowing whether the feedback is going to be positive or negative feels more overwhelming than being certain that the feedback will be negative. Tim Herrera's article identifies the primary issue. Humans evolved to have this anxiety. It's a survival instinct. Fortunately, neuroscientists and psychologists have done extensive research over whether humans can retrain their brains to turn off their conflict avoidance presets when approached with feedback. The short answer is: yes!
However, the above articles do not discuss maladaptive personality disorders such as avoidant personality disorder and rejection sensitive dysphoria. While humans are naturally predisposed to conflict avoidance, these disorders amplify the intensity of an individual's emotional response to conflict which causes the individual to go to social extremes in order to avoid the possibility of conflict. While APD and RSD share many of the same symptoms, they are very different.
APD is believed to be genetically predisposed and triggered by environmental influences such as emotional abuse, prolonged rejection by caretakers and/or peers, and PTSD. APD only affects around 2.5% of the population.
RSD, however, is a symptom of other mental disorders such as ADHD, PTSD, OCD, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and most forms of depression, anxiety, and social phobias. RSD causes intense feelings that mimic APD, but the feelings are shorter in duration. RSD can be reduced by proper treatment of the primary disorder.
Although APD and RSD should be treated and monitored by a medical professional, taking active steps to create new habits and behaviors, like those suggested in Overcoming the Fear of Feedback, should be part of an ongoing treatment plan.
I used the above graphic to help me brainstorm on four topics that I could look at while deciding on the focus of my final project. The overall theme I want to explore this semester is Making Connections. By text, I mean Indian Mythology as a whole. Each question requires mining to match stories to the topic I chose to answer the question.
How does one text connect to another? This can be evaluated in two ways. 1. How does the text connect to the mythology of other cultures? 2. How do multiple texts starring the same antagonist or protagonist connect with each other to create a deeper understanding of a particular figure?
How does the text connect to the individual? Karma evaluates individual actions and intentions and illustrates how consequences stem from those actions in both short term and future results.
(Image Information: Rapunzel of India by Julia Jacob.)
Artist Spotlight: Julia Jacob
Julia is an amazing artist, architecture student, and aspiring storyteller. Her art ranges from fan art and character reimaginings (like the Indian Rapunzel above) to original works. You can view her art, watch her drawing process, or buy her a cup of coffee. I cannot wait to see what she creates in the future!
Rampion and Figs
A western scholar traveled to India to learn the ways of the Buddha. One evening, the Master was unwell and asked the students for a volunteer to share a story in lieu of the Master's evening tale. Another young man who viewed the scholar as a rival spoke up. "Master, perhaps our western Brother can share a tale from his homeland." The scholar readily complied.
"Once upon a time in a land far away..." began the scholar.
"Once? Far away?" interrupted the rival. "Do you not know the origins of your tales, Scholar?"
"It is the tradition of my people to begin stories in this manner." replied the scholar. "Once upon a time in a land far away, there lived a farmer and his wife. The farmer's wife was great with child and could do little more than sit by her window and await the birth of their child. The farmer grew all manners of vegetables and herbs and their farm was well-tended and produced in abundance. However, there was one plant that did not grow on their property. On the neighboring farm, acres of rampion grew, but none would grow on their own farm."
"Excuse me, rampion?" barked the rival as he smothered a laugh. "What on earth is that?"
Composing himself, the scholar replied, "It's a European bellflower. Makes a great salad. Now, the farmer's wife craved the rampion but was afraid to approach her neighbor because the neighbor was rumored to be a witch. However, she thought about the tasty rampion night and day. She nearly went mad with desire.
'Dear Husband,' the farmer's wife cried, 'if I do not have some of that rampion, I'll surely die!' The farmer was also afraid of the neighbor, but his wife looked so miserable he decided to concoct a plan to get the rampion. He could easily slip over the fence in the dark and take some of the rampion without his neighbor noticing. After all, he was young, lithe, and strong, and the witch was old and blind and seldom left her cottage.
The farmer slipped over the fence in the dead of night and began cutting leaves off the nearest plant. His confidence quickly built and he decided to exit through the gate rather than go back over the fence. As he turned to walk toward the gate, he came nose to nose with his neighbor.
'Farmer! What brings you over the fence into my garden,' the witch demanded.
'One of our chicks got separated and wandered under the fence,' replied the farmer, congratulating himself on his quick thinking. Surely the milky-eyed witch could not tell that what his satchel contained.
'You fool!', screamed the witch. 'I know you have taken some of my crop. I shall turn you into a rat because only a rat would sneak into a garden and steal something that would have been freely given if asked!'
'No! No!', cried the farmer, shaking and falling to his knees. 'Please! My wife needs this, or she will die! She is pregnant and will soon be giving birth. She needs me!'
'Your wife can have as much rampion as she wants, but you must choose the payment for my crop.' replied the witch. 'I can either turn you into a rat and keep you as a pet, or you can bring me the infant when it is born.'
'I will bring you the baby in exchange for the rampion and my life,' promised the farmer. The farmer's wife ate rampion to her heart's content. Soon, she gave birth to a baby girl, and the farmer forgot about his promise to the witch. One evening, the witch appeared at the cottage to collect the infant. The witch took the baby and named her Rapunzel, in honor of the plant that brought her such a precious boon. The witch..."
"We have a story much like that," interrupted the rival. Without waiting for a response from the scholar, he launched into his own tale.
"During the time of Brahmadatta's reign in Benares, the Bodhisatta came to life again as the Monkey-King. He lived in a valley next to the Ganges that was rich with fruit trees and other tasty plants. The Monkey-King grew large and strong as he lived and played on the banks of the river. A Crocodile and his wife moved to a nearby bank to start a family. Crocodile's wife soon went to nest. As she sat on the bank watching over her eggs, she would watch the Monkey-King bound up and down his area of the bank. She began to crave the Monkey-King's heart, thinking how tasty it would be.
'Dear Husband,' Crocodile's wife cried, 'if I do not have the heart of the Monkey-King, I'll surely die! I fear that I am done for because the Monkey-King is too strong to overpower and too smart to outthink.' Wanting to prove his prowess to his wife, Crocodile quickly thought up a grand scheme to outsmart and overpower the Monkey-King.
'Halloo! Monkey-King!' Shouted Crocodile as he approached the Monkey-King's bank. 'Grand day isn't it? Oh, my. In this bright light, I can tell your fruit is not faring well in this heat. I just came from the far side of the river, and there are gorgeous fruits over there that you've never even heard of.'
'Halloo, Crocodile!' the Monkey-King responded. I'm always interested in trying new things. Unfortunately, although I can swim close to the bank, I don't think I can make it to the far side of the river.'
'No worries, Friend Monkey. I can take you across on my back,' promised Crocodile. The Monkey-King stepped on to Crocodile's back and settled in for the ride. Crocodile was so confident in his plan that he couldn't resist shouting, 'Ha! I've got you now, Monkey-King! I am a master of the water. I will drown you and feed your heart to my wife! She has been craving your tasty heart while nesting with our eggs.'
'My heart?' cried the Monkey-King. 'Oh, dear! I'm afraid your wife will be sorely disappointed. You see, we monkeys live a high-risk lifestyle- running and swimming along the banks, swinging and jumping from tree to tree- it just isn't safe for us to carry our hearts within our bodies. I left it in the Heart-Tree with the other hearts. If you turn back, I can give you my heart to take back to your wife as a gift.'
'We will go back to get your heart, but you must come with me and tell my wife about how I bested you with my intelligence and my superior swimming skills,' replied Crocodile. Crocodile took the Monkey-King back to shore.
'There,' stated the Monkey-King, pointing toward a large fig tree. 'That's the Heart-Tree. If you'll land there I can retrieve my heart from the highest branch.' Crocodile landed under the fig tree and the Monkey-King bounded lightning-quick to the top. The Monkey-King turned and addressed Crocodile. 'Let this be a lesson to you, foolish Crocodile. It was more important for you to be revered for your intelligence and strength that it was for you to care for your family. If you had been honest in the first place, I could have given you one of my figs for you to share with your wife to give you both the strength and swiftness you will need to care for your many young. Instead, your wife will curse you for your foolishness.'
You see, Scholar," boasted the rival, "the Monkey-King is like your farmer. He managed to escape the wicked Crocodile, yet he outsmarted Crocodile and came away from the experience without having to make a sacrifice to escape."
"Actually," interjected the Master, "the Bodhisatta is like the witch. Both had the capability to freely bless their neighbors, but the farmer and Crocodile chose to approach them with subterfuge rather than truth, and their spouses suffered because of it. You, however," the Master looked meaningfully at the rival, "are like Crocodile. You were more concerned with proving to me that your intelligence matched our western Brother that your foolishness robbed us of the opportunity to find out what happened to the little Rampion-Girl.
Author's Note:
I love seeing connections between stories around the world. These connections show us two things. 1. Humans share similar concerns and experience no matter where they are located. 2. World cultures influence each other. I wanted to show the connections between Rapunzel and The two Crocodile and Monkey-King stories listed in the Jakata Anthology. I drew on my favorite retelling of Rapunzel from the "Fractured Fairytales" shorts that were part of The Bullwinkle Show cartoons of the 1960s. Here is a YouTube link to the short:
Chalmers, Robert. "The Crocodile in the River." Vanarinda Jataka, in The Jataka: Volume 1. Web Source: Jakata Anthology
Hayward, Chris, and Chris Jenkyns. "Fractured Fairytales: Rapunzel." The Bullwinkle Show. Jay Ward Productions, 1959.
Shedlock, Marie L. "The Crocodile and the Monkey's Heart."Eastern Stories and Legends. Web Source: Jakata Anthology
Random Information: Rampion and Figs
You can grow both rampion and figs in the United States!
Rampion is a flowering herb that was once common in England, as well as other European areas. Its leaves can be used as in a salad and its roots can be cooked in the style of popular tubers like turnips and parsnips. According to Botanical.com, rampion tastes like wild dandelion and can be used as a substitution for spinach in the summer and autumn.
Rampion can be used as an herbal treatment for sore throat and other inflammations of the mouth and throat.
Rampion is a hearty plant and can grow in zones 3 through 9. Seeds can be ordered for spring planting from the link listed in the image info.
Fig trees are native to Persia, Asia Minor, and Syria and were adopted by other Mediterranian countries. Figs were introduced to ancient Italy and spread through the warm and temperate climates of Europe. The fruit of the fig tree can be eaten fresh or dried or fermented for a wine-like drink. Although figs are grown in the United States, most of our dried figs are imported.
Figs are mentioned in a variety of world mythologies. The Sycamore that the biblical character Zacheus climbed to view Jesus is a type of fig tree that was planted near roads because their tall stature and wide-spreading branches provided much-needed shade for travelers.
The Greeks and Spartans valued the fig because they believed that the fruit added to their strength and swiftness. Figs are known to be used medicinally as a gentle laxative (probably why the Greeks and Spartans learned to be so quick) and to combat sinus infections and other inflammations of the mucous membranes. Figs were also boiled and made into poultices for dental abscesses, tumors, and boils.
I chose the two comics pictured below because they are names of two minor characters in the urban fantasy universe created by my favorite author SM Reine. She enjoys studying mythology and folklore, so I would like to read these tales to see if there's any correlation between the mythological characters and the personality traits of Sara's characters. Granted, I could just ask her myself, but this seems more fun.
I plan to watch the videos below. The first video is to orient myself to new knowledge through Greek Mythology; a literary tradition I'm already comfortable with. The other videos focus on the Ramayana. Since we'll be spending time reading the Ramayana, it makes sense to watch videos to broaden my understanding of the Epic.
Why It's So Hard to Hear Negative Feedback
